oh my mind is a mess.
the things I find worth doing are too many, the things I actually do, too few.
my mind seems to me now a sea of frustration.
the language. I lack language, I lack words that can never keep up with my thoughts. I lack control over my voice and feel deeply ashamed about it. Because I assume that it makes people feel tense and uncomfortable. When actually it makes me feel tense and uncomfortable. Because I feel this losing of control. But I do have control. For example I can slow down and regain it. Intuitively I spent the day watching the deaf characters in Todorovsky film making their way through words without any hurry. They know they are different, that they sound weird, but they don't hussle. Wow, I love my inner wisdom, hehe.